Friday, 9 May 2008
Friday, 21 March 2008
Interesting Celery Fact No. 49
They ate all the celery and forgot to plant any more so they all went home again later that year. On January 24, 1848, gold was discovered in the exact same spot, leading to the popular belief that a pot of gold can be found at the end of a celery show.
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Interesting Celery Fact No. 1
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 144
Friday, 4 May 2007
Unreasonable Celery Intolerance No. 1
Interesting Celery Fact No. 47
A – Albatross
B –
C – Celery
D – Dangle
E – Elderberry
F – Funnel
G – Globule
H – Hatstand
I – Ibsen
J –
K – Kermit
L – Linguini
M – Mellotron
N – Nougat
O – Oratorio
P – Persistence
Q – Quaalude
R – Redundant
S – Sausage
T – Teflon
U – Uttoxeter
V – Viticulture
W – Walrus
X – Xanadu
Y – Yesterday
Z - Zaphod
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 158
Friday, 13 April 2007
Interesting Celery Song #1
First I was afraid, I was petrified
To try to live without celery would be suicide
Oh how I love the watery taste
And how I love it's fibrous feel
If you wanted to destroy me
It's the first thing you would steal.......
I looked in the fridge
And behind the couch
Wherever you hid that celery
I'd find it out
But then suddenly I saw
Then I suddenly realised
That if I was a celery stick
There's one place that I'd hide.....
Chorus
It was under the bed
Under the bed
I find the celery at last
Before I lost my head
And now I've squirrelled it away
And now I've stored it in the fridge
That's what I said
It was under the bed
Oooooh
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 545
The infamous planks, which the captives of pirates were made to walk during the "Golden Age Of Piracy", were not made from wood. They were in fact made of celery, for two reasons.
1. If the captive was too heavy, the plank would snap before the captive reached the end, providing much hilarity amongst the crew.
2. If the captive was light, and made it to the end, the natural springiness of celery again made it much more entertaining - when the captive tried a discreet and dignified jump off the end of the plank they found themselves hurtling upwards, usually bashing their heads on the underside of the crow's nest before smashing through the plank on their way to the bottom of the briny.
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 94
Thursday, 5 April 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 7
In '76, the worm finally turned, as the merchants found that they, too, were no longer able to afford the celery which was so much a part of their daily lives, and a pamphlet, entitled "Against the Gentrification of Celery" began to be circulated. As the upper middle classes began to forcibly resist the celery tax, the poorer and more downtrodden followed suit, until the Duke of Hapsburg gave way, and removed celery tax altogether, in what was known as the Budapest Celery Amnesty.
An interesting aside to this story is that the little town of Unterdenverdegris had it's very own Lady Godiva moment as a result of this crisis. The mayor of the little town was begged by his wife to stand up to the Hapsburgs, and refuse to collect the celery tax. He laughingly told his wife that he would do so, if she would ride naked through the town on a donkey. This she did, but there the parallels with Godiva end. The mayors wife was, to put it kindly, a rather homely lady, and once the people of the town found out why she was undertaking this naked ride, they swore never to complain about celery tax again, if only she would promise never to repeat her daring ride.
Monday, 2 April 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 223
Thursday, 29 March 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 362
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 158
Tuesday, 20 March 2007
Little Known Celery Poem #1
Of thrusting foliage and indomitable fibre
Thy alabaster column standing proud
Enshadowing all, like some dark rider
Oh prince of the market garden
Denizen of the salad plate
Unpalatable yet strangely ever present
How long until you seal mankinds fate?
Percy Shelley
This poem was published as part of a joint anthology with Byron, in 1817. The collection, entitled "To all the greenest pastures" was primarily concerned with salad stuffs, but, being of the romantic era, was not without it's references to root vegetables.
Thursday, 15 March 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 972
Thursday, 1 March 2007
Interesting Celery Fact No. 5
The CLS, as it became known, started by writing to local groups, progressed to picketing greengrocers and salad bars, and by the end, were thought to be behind acts of violence and intimidation towards local market gardeners. Much of the suffering could have been avoided, except that the local council followed a policy of appeasment, resulting in a ban on celery on all council premises, and local bye-laws being passed to prevent the eating of celery in public.
Eventually, an enquiry by the City of London police force revealed that the local police were too cowed by the CLS to interfere, and that the shadowy group was carrying out vigilante attacks on local celery eaters. Their web of informants had spread fear throughout the area, and there were reports, never confirmed, that they were planning an attempt to overthrow the government, and put in their own anti-celery administration. Today, the ringleaders remain behind bars, pending a Truth and Reconcilliation project.