Faith Based Celery Fact No. 18

There are those who hold that there is a goat, and there is a pole, and that the goat is on the pole. They believe that the goat is on the pole. The goat is always on the pole. We can never know why, but the goat will persist as will the universe. The goat on a pole is the first step and the last step, and we need nothing beyond the goat and the pole and their relative positions. Indeed, anything more is elaborate self-deception. Feel what the goat is doing and where it is relative to the pole and keep this close to your heart, and one day you may fully understand the import of this all.

Whilst not actually heretical, the primitive belief of these Goatonapolists is nothing more than a half truth. To those who truly have eyes to see, there is no pole, but only a stick of celery.